A Word on Self-Love

With Valentine's day just around the corner, I'd like to take a moment to talk about one of the most important people you'll ever love... Yourself! Self-love is something I’m constantly emphasizing. I’m constantly emphasizing it because it’s something that’s so important!

So why exactly is self love so important? 

When we love ourselves, we hold ourselves to higher standards. We are less likely to treat ourselves poorly, or allow another individual to treat us poorly as well. When we love ourselves, we have a healthy self-esteem and self-respect, and we don't go looking for love in all the wrong places because we already have our fill of love. 

Conversly, when we fail to love ourselves we become prone to compromising in our love lives, lowering our standards, or accepting treatment from others that is far less than what we deserve. We are unable to keep healthy boundaries and become people-pleasers; unable to stand up for ourselves out of fear of upsetting or losing that person. Our sense of worth becomes dependent upon other people’s ability to see it, and we seek validation from external factors (i.e. other’s approval) rather than feeling it ourselves. 

People who fail to love themselves suffer from a low self-esteem, low self-worth, a lack of self-respect, and poor/ impaired decision making. 

When we practice self-love everything changes for the better. We become empowered to be fully expressed, because whether other people like or approve of us is not important. We are able to accept and appreciate ourselves despite our flaws and weaknesses. While we don’t deny that weaknesses exist, we are able to recognize them and love ourselves in spite of our imperfections. In addition, we are able to make wise dating decisions; because we love and respect ourselves, we set the standards for the kind of treatment we expect from others.

People who love themselves are confident, have a healthy self-esteem, self-value, and self-worth.

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We teach others how to treat us based on the behavior we are willing to accept. 

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There’s a quote that says “we accept the love we think we deserve,” and I couldn’t believe this to be more true. You deserve love, and happiness, and someone who treats you with respect; so it’s essential for you to start treating yourself that way. We teach others how to treat us based on the behavior we are willing to accept. It’s so important to treat yourself with love and respect, so that you can attract others who will show you love and respect. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either. As soon as you start seeing your own worth, it becomes a lot harder to stay around those who don’t. If you want another human to give you the love you deserve, start showing yourself that love.

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Love yourself first, so you know what you deserve. 

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A few ways to cultivate some more self-love? 

1.       Practice Positive Self-Talk.  Speak kindly to oneself and avoid harsh self-judgement and unnecessary self-criticism. Speak to yourself the way you would a beloved friend or child. Be nice to yourself!

2.       Practice Self Care. Take care of yourself. Eat like you love yourself. Make sure to get adequate amounts of restful sleep and rejuvenating exercise.  Treating yourself right is an essential aspect of cultivating more self-love.

3.       Have Healthy Boundaries.  It’s essential to have healthy boundaries in place to ensure one is treated the way one deserves to be treated. Having healthy boundaries is an act of self-love.

4.       Surround yourself with people who love, respect, and appreciate you. Immediately cut ties from anyone who treats you with disrespect, is un-supportive, or demeaning. Removing toxic people from your life is not mean; it’s healthy and essential to your self-love and self-respect. 

Treat yourself kindly, show yourself love, be respectful of yourself, have healthy boundaries. Do this, and you’re guaranteed to attract more people into your life who do the same. 

All my love,

Brigitte xx